Glee and Asperger's Syndrome

Below is a copy of a letter I wrote to Fox and posted on Glee's official Facebook page:

For two seasons, I have watched and loved every episode of Glee.  I love that a show can embrace every difference and disability with kindness and humor.  It makes me nostalgic for my own show choir days and the only time in my life that I ever felt I belonged somewhere.  You see, I have Asperger’s Syndrome and fitting in is next to impossible.

Imagine my joy when a character who represents my place on the Autism spectrum was introduced and presented with the same kindness and humor as all the other characters…or rather then joy I might have felt if that had actually happened.  Instead, enter Sugar Motta, the “bitch with a twist.”  Maybe you thought throwing in “self-diagnosed” would make it all right.  It didn’t.

I am a 35 year old woman with Asperger’s Syndrome.  I was only diagnosed last December.  You see, it’s much harder to diagnose Aspie females because we learn social coping methods more readily than our male counterparts.  For those of us who grew up in a time when Asperger’s was not widely known, we stumbled through our childhoods and wondered why we never grew out of our “awkward phases”.  As adults, finding an autism literate therapist is harder than you might think.  Asperger’s is largely misunderstood, even by the so-called experts.

Because of all this, many Aspies are self-diagnosed.  They seek answers to why they feel so different from everyone else and eventually realize the truth – that they, like me, are Autistic.  They are not looking for an excuse to be “bitches”.  They are looking for acceptance.  We recognize our own and do not discriminate simply because someone does not have an “official” diagnosis.  Are there people who claim the Aspie label so they can get away with bad behavior?  Yes.  But not nearly as many as you might think.

Unfortunately, because of characters like Sugar, myself and Autistic people like me are accused of making it all up.  We battle discrimination and misunderstanding on all fronts…even within our own community.  There is a lot of bad information around, leading to misconceptions about why we are the way we are.  Good writers research the characters they create and it’s clear that someone did not do their homework.

You can make this right.  Learn the truth about us and portray us correctly.  Start here:

http://autismandempathy.com/

http://www.journeyswithautism.com/

http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

http://mybrainyourbrain.wordpress.com/

http://thoughtyautie.wordpress.com/

http://aspergirlmaybe.wordpress.com/

http://jerobison.blogspot.com/

http://nostereotypeshere.blogspot.com/

http://femmeburger.blogspot.com/

http://autism-fallingintoplace.blogspot.com/

We are Autistic.  We are Aspies.  We deserve to be heard.

Autism, Empathy and “Reality” TV

For the life of me, I can’t understand the point of most so-called reality shows. Some of them, sure. I like So You Think You Can Dance. I used to like American Idol, before it became the same tired shit over and over again. What I hate and can’t wrap my mind around are the shows that seem to be all about people being awful to each other. You’ve got all the backstabbing and game playing on shows like The Bachelor and Survivor, which I can’t stand, but at least there’s an endgame. Those make a little bit of sense to me.


And then there are the others. Bad Girls Club, Jersey Shore, Real World, Real Housewives, Bridezillas, Toddlers and Tiaras, Dance Moms – the list goes on and on. When I watch these shows, I get so worked up and upset and I have never understood why I am so bothered by something that other people find entertaining. Upon learning about my place on the spectrum and the supposed lack of empathy the “experts” said I should feel, I was even more confused.

Guess what? I feel empathy. I feel it so strongly that it is overwhelming. The experts are wrong. (I’m not the only one who feels this way…visit www.autismandempathy.com to read about others like me.) Because of this, watching a television show that is driven by the fact that people can be completely evil to one another is painful for me. It hurts me. I’d much rather watch something like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition or My Fair Wedding. Show me people being kind. Show me there is good in the world. Show me that the human race isn’t doomed to destroy itself. Show me hope. Show me love.

I Think Today Is Not Going To Suck

I stopped at Starbucks to get my Venti No Whip White Hot Chocolate because I knew my office would be colder than a well digger's ass in January and they were playing David Bowie when I walked in.  Good sign number one.  They had fresh marble poundcake in the case.  Good sign number two.  I remembered today is my Friday.  Ha!  Three things telling me today is going to be a good day.

Yesterday I ordered some earplugs because my iPod isn't doing enough to drown out all the stupid that assaults my ears throughout the day, but I'm using different earbuds this morning and they're slightly more effective so I'm not so stressed about maintaining my sanity until I get the plugs.  I've never bought earplugs today and money is tight, so I wasn't sure what to look for.  I posted about the dilemma on the http://www.wrongplanet.net/ forums and got a lot of great answers.  I'm going to try out a few different types to figure out what works best for me in different situations.

Oh, hey, good sign number 4 -- iPod just decided to play "Race Car Ya Yas" by CAKE.  Fuck yeah.